Butt ugly blogging

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So I’m sitting here bored so I decide to rattle around trying to find sonething interesting. Blogs can be good for that so I try to peruse a few. I mean, why not? I have a blog I hope folks will stumble on and read.

I gotta say: what in fuck happened to “less is more”?! In some regards they do have less, where they shouldn’t, e.g. less content, less proofreading, less intelligence (as I never made any claims to have any of those I’m exempt from my own criticism. And given that I’m a dyslexic who is often typing on a virtual keyboard, my shit cones out pretty fucking awesome and IS proofread). What they have more of is what I like to call a metric ass tonne of shit.

Elegance. These blogs lack it in spades. It can be hard to find the post(s), to navigate to the pages, and fuck me, the load times are retarded!m

Honestly, this is reminding me a lot of MySpace and Angelfire/Geocities back in their day. People with all the design and decorative sense of a flamboyant, hyperactive two year old are making custom CSS, or jut activating every damned plugin they can find. Here’s a hint (based on one I found tonight): you blog title PROBABLY. oughtn’t be a gorram paragraph. Also? The four fonts in your header that takes up 3″ of tablet in landscape screen (vertically) and easily as much as six of them on a desktop? Never mind, if I have to actually explain this one just do the race a favour and space yourself.

I dunno. I just find it so distracting when a site of any sort is visually busy. I feel like websites should be streamline. They should use a minimum of fancy shit in terms of scripts and such. And the look too should have a Zen minimalist vibe. A feeling that the stuff around the edges are just there if you need them, but otherwise they’re going to be sitting here silently and out of your way. Too many people feel inclined to fill every fucking sidebar, footer and header bar, Heath bar and crowbar their chosen theme allows till it’s going to pop!

Seriously folks, remember, when building a blog or other site look to Apple and their role models for inspiration, not Microsoft, Fisher Price, and Mardi Gras. Think of your site as trying to look like the stunning James Bond sultry temptress at the ritzy locale who is in the long, simple, elegant black or red gown. Nothing loud, certainly not overstated – on the contrary she’s what is usually called understated. Let’s not look like the mother from Married With Children.

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