So, I’m talking to Shan and she mentions this thing that’s all over the NaNoWriMo forums (no, I’ve no idea why she reads them – masochism features heavily in most theories) called Write or Die.
What is it? Madness, stupidity, what-the-fuckery of the highest calibre, that’s what.
You see, some complete psychotic lunatic was allowed access to a compiler. This is a truly horrific proposition: last time someone made that mistake Windows was born. In this case nothing quite so much a sign of the coming of the apocalypse, but still pretty awful. This unspeakable horror (what? yeah, I’m going to tell you – unspeakable is just a really great adjective, I love talking about unspeakable things … maybe I’ll start discussing Cthullu next!) is a program that, if you’re not producing word count at sufficient rates of speed will start deleting your text for you! Yeah, you read that right. I wish it weren’t true, but it is.
True, you can set it to just flash the screen – as if this would do more than be kind of irritating. But the intended and popular (and probably default) setting is auto-backspace!
Why is this horrible? I mean, it’s a program, not a virus, so it should be voluntary, right? Well, yes. That’s where the stupidity part of the title comes in. You see, it seems that this is a wildly popular program among NaNoWriMo forumites!
Okay. I’m going to repeat this, slowly, just to help this ludicrous concept sink in properly: people attempting to write a narrative of 50,000+ words in 30-days are swearing by, recommending, and outright enamoured with a program designed to start sending backspace signals if they’re not typing fast enough.
The sad part of this: I’ve spent over a decade working in customer service and technical support. As far as I knew I had lost all faith and in and respect for Humanity ages ago. Apparently not. Now I’ve lost all hope and respect for, and any other positive attribution one would care to apply in this situation, the species classed H. Sapiens of the small rocky bit of stellar driftwood known as Earth.
Now … if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go slowly beat my head on the nearest available solid surface – like a puppy skull.